I’m weirdly looking forward to my appointment with the endocrinologist and GP tomorrow. Why? Because I’ve made so much progress.
When I last saw the endocrinologist in January, I was battling depression, anxiety disorder and honestly couldn’t bear the thought of my pathetic half-life being forever. My social and work life were ruined and hypothyroidism had pretty much taken hold of everything. The endo refused to listen to my thoughts and ideas. He implied I had put on two stone not from being inadequately treated, but because I was lazy, ate the wrong stuff and too much of it, and I didn’t move enough. He dismissed absolutely everything I said. He even said I should see a dietician. I was so insulted. When I left that appointment, I walked to the nearest toilet, collapsed on the floor in the cubicle and sobbed my heart out for an hour. I eventually picked myself up, after numerous members of hospital staff asking if I was ok, and cried all the way home. I spent another four hours crying at home, writing in my diary that I couldn’t bear to carry on living a life so dreadful and ruled by a condition I never deserved. I used to be so healthy and active. I’ve always been the healthiest person out my friends. I was sociable, passionate and always busy. I was a regular twenty-one year old, until my stupid thyroid decided to have some time off.
So, after I vented out my despair on paper, I ordered my own adrenal test results. I carried on dosing and self medicating on NDT, refusing to go back to Levo like the endo was pushing for, and when I found I did indeed have adrenal fatigue, I learned how to self medicate that, too.
Five months on (gosh, five months?!) and I’m about 80-90% back to the old me. I’m hardly ever fatigued or achey. I sleep well and a normal amount. I’m losing the weight I put on last year with very little effort. All my symptoms of UAT, from an itchy scalp, to acid reflux, hormonal migraines, mental health issues, aches, pains and tiredness are all gone. I’m happy, I feel 22 and I’m so so proud of where I’ve come. I had over 20 symptoms last year and now I have none.
When I go to see the endo tomorrow, I will be wearing a figure hugging dress, wearing a big smile on my face and I’ll be showing him how far I’ve come without him or any other ‘medical professional’s help.
I know I’ll probably have ups and downs as it flares up again or something disrupts it, but I’ve already made so much progress, I know I’ll be able to fight whatever else may happen.
Rachel, The Invisible Hypothyroidism
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