I’m not feeling up to it today. By ‘it’, I mean ‘life’.
I struggled to get out of bed, feeling horrendously tired, again, as I felt this huge weight weighing down on my chest. It’s hard to explain the pure fatigue endocrine issues give you, unless you experience it firsthand. It’s easy to see why it causes low motivation and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
I didn’t want to be at work today. I felt fuzzy headed and like a dead weight. I struggled to function properly. It was real hard work.
At the moment, I feel constantly stressed. It’s a constant battle to try not to be stressed. It’s like a catch-22.
‘Stressed’ is my default mood right now and trying not to be stressed kind of causes more stress. Even subconsciously. I can’t explain it well.
I’m worst in the mornings, where every little thing feels like it’s going to topple me over. I tell myself it’s fine, it doesn’t matter, don’t get stressed, but the effort I’m putting in to not get stressed and remember to stay calm, in effect, makes me feel more tired and stressed. It’s mentally and and physically draining and time consuming. It’s a vicious cycle.
I feel like my stress is from my persistent high cortisol, which you already know about, but also the irregular periods, suspected imbalanced progesterone and estrogen and my ongoing battle trying to get to the bottom of that. Dealing with the acne is also pretty stressful and upsetting at times. You can’t imagine what all of this is like to juggle, unless you’ve experienced it all yourself.
I feel drained, fed up and demotivated.
I’m also experiencing a funny stomach at the moment, and I’m not sure why.
I started magnesium glycinate today, too, which I’ll be taking at night. The magnesium malate seems to be helping, but Thyroid UK mentioned in their most recent magazine that glycinate is the most easily absorbed and good for endocrine health.
I’m going to look into meditation and de-stressing tips as well.
Rachel, The Invisible Hypothyroidism
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